The Real Deal Behind All The Smiles and Carefree Laughter -Baby Making Part 21

Due to the sensitivity of this matter, I am protecting this post.


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To loyal readers, the password is the same as all the Baby Making post which were previously protected.


To new readers, please email me at balqizdotcom [at] yahoo dot com for password.


Thank you

Guess What?

Blog, Twitter and Facebook- Your call.

A reader once said that to me and I promised her that I’ll blog about it. Yes, T, you said this last year and I only post it now but it’s better than nothing, right? ROIITE?! 

But this is the first time a person describe me based on my social network and website. I gotta say, GOOD ONE T! 

Yes, in real life I am not LOUD and RANTY like I am in my blog. Neither am I as ANGRY and FOUL MOUTH as I am in my Twitter. But I am exactly just like my Facebook; quiet and response to only to those I am comfortable with. I told T that my blog and Twitter is my alter ego, the voice in my head, the real me wanting to get out and scream GO F**K YOURSELF TILL YOU SEE BLOOD. But in real life, I’ll get bomb the shit out of my pants if I dare to say things like that out loud. 

By the way, since I rejected few friends request in Facebook, I created a Facebook Fan Page for you guys, my readers, to join in and be part of Balqiz’s community. Do please LIKE my page [insert pathetic begging sad puppy eyed face] 

If no one LIKES it in a matter of 6 months, I’m going to abolish it, I swear Ha-ha! 

I'm dead serious....

Till then, ciao!

Sneak Peak: Mi Casa

On the computer table:

The mister's action figures, our wedding door gift (a white wedding cake shape candle), the mister's stash of coffee candy and our photo together.


My collection of fortune cats and souvenirs I collected from places I traveled:

Sadly, I had to throw away the broken, rusty and chip ones. Sucks innit?

That is why I prefer fridge magnets as souvenirs. My collection of souvenir magnets over the years:

It's easy to handle, not so fragile, pretty to look at and at the same time, easy for me to keep track on where I've travel and all. Friends and family who knows I collected these helps to contribute some and filled my fridge with places I've never even been too!

Bought these in Ikea the last time I went to KL:

My daily dosage of massive giggles and laughter. Must. Watch. Every. Day:

Sweet memories must always be visible to the naked eyes to reminds us how lucky we are that we're together:

Till then, ciao!

Oy I am so rusty in this...

Thank you for all the comments left in this blog, emails, DM in Twitter, and messages in Facebook.

Thank you for the support, the scolding and the telling me off for being such a pussy, the genuine regrets, the congratulations and the word of encouragement.

Honestly, I didn't know I have THAT many readers. I didn't know my decision (whom some called SELFISH and COWARDICE) actually rattle (or some used the word “disturbing”) A LOT of people.

I haven't reply not one of your emails, DMs, comments and messages.

Why? Because I don't know what to say. Indeed I am touched. Indeed some words were hurtful and made me angry. Indeed some were encouraging and made me rethink of my decision.

I consulted the Mister. Again.

I seek my friends advice. For the first time.

I asked some 'taiko' bloggers opinions. With my face all red, ashamed and embarrassed I DARE to ask these famous people about my puny, tiny blog.

I can say 90% said, WHY BOTHER WHAT PEOPLE SAY? BLOGGING IS YOUR PASSION AND YOU LET SOME CRAZY BITCH OUT THERE TAKE AWAY YOUR PASSION? THAT'S STUPID!

Okay, my husband didn't say that. Others did.

And there is this nice lady blogger whom I have been following for ages emailed me and said, “I received tons of shits thrown at me. But I continue on. Blogging is my source of income. It is also my pride and joy. I am not going to let haters take it away from me”

What a reality check. A slap in the face. An awakening.

Truthfully, I miss blogging. I don't know why. I can't explain why I love blogging. Is it because for my own satisfaction seeing my words/photos publish online? Is it because of the knowledge that people are coming here and become a regular, liking and addicted with what I put in my blog? Is it because I am famewhore? Maybe it is all that. Maybe not. I don't know. I just know there's a giant pull that makes me love blogging more than Facebooking or Twittering every hour of the day.

Am I back?

Maybe.

Give me time.

Let me adjust my mentality by pushing those haters/gossipers words out of my mind. And maybe in time, I'll be tougher. For me, for my blog and for my little family.

Thank you. I appreciate each and every one of you.

The End.

I am not so naive as to think that I am without haters and enemies. I am frank, blunt, misunderstood, bitchy and downright rude. For that, I am a magnet for people to dislike me and of course, a magnet for gossipmongers.



Having my life blog, though I do not write in details, I am still risking alot. I am putting myself for public judgement and intense scrutinization. I am also feeding those gossipmongers more fuel to gossip behind my back.



Yet, I am still here. I know there are those who come here wholly interested to read what I write. Some even become my friends in real life. But I also know there are ALOT of other people coming here, following my blog deligently, read and bitch about me to their friends and family.



If these people are strangers, I can accept it. But most are not. Most are people I know or people my family know. These are people from my hometown. And sadly, some are even my own family (direct family excluded)



My pregnant photos are taken and showed to others by these people.



My pregnancy stories spread like wildfire from one mouth to another and it has been twisted and turn and become a story farther than truth.



My rambling thoughts and nonsense that has nothing to do with my life or anything for that matter has being discussed, analyzed and ridiculed.



My wedding stories become a huge issue for some family members until some don't even want to talk to me anymore.



And many more. Many, many more.



And yet I persevere.



Why? Because I have nothing to lose.



I have no secrets to hide. I am an open book and I am fine by it. I don't want to hide from embracing the truth in my life.



But now... Now I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant with a sweet, beautiful, adorably active little boy and I want to protect him from all these malicious people coming here to judge him, scrutinize him, and criticize him when he's born.



I can accept shits thrown at me. But not at my baby. It would not be fair for him.



So today, after much thought, I decided to stop. Oh I will still blog. I love writing. But not now. Someday, maybe. Here. Or elsewhere. God knows.



This is the end of a long journey.



Thank you, all, for reading all these while.




Ciao.